This is the moment I wish I could have with my parents.
My first car was even a used Subaru station wagon, I could not make this up. I am from an upper-middle class white family with two liberal straight parents who were high school sweethearts, and I have one younger sibling. He didn’t just leave it at letting Simon know he loves him, he recognized that this is an on-going presence in his child’s life and he commits to continuously being involved with and acknowledging this aspect of his son. He’s gotten it wrong (in the most adorably dad way possible), but the point is he made the effort.
And it’s not a Manly Shoulder Pat either, this is a proper full-body hug followed by a kiss on the cheek.Īnd after a moment of awkwardness, he actively reaches out and shows interest in engaging in the queer aspect of Simon’s life by offering to sign up to Grindr together. Then he makes sure Simon knows that he is loved unconditionally, and reinforces it with physical affection. It doesn’t happen.Īnd even when Simon gives him an out he refuses to take it. For a parent to acknowledge to a child who is still not fully an adult that they were wrong, especially when it’s a father when men are conditioned to never give ground or “show weakness” over things like this, just. His father has spent 17 years being the one responsible for Simon’s care at this point the parent is the one in the equation where the majority of power still sits. Because the key here is, not only is this a father-son relationship, which is always more difficult because men in our society have been conditioned to never be “touchy-feely”, it’s also a parent-child relationship. He is acknowledging that he was wrong and he is apologizing for the hurt he, however unknowingly, caused his son. He is taking responsibility for his actions. And then he says “All those stupid jokes…” I really can’t, I’m pretty sure I stopped breathing for a second. I don’t think I can put into words what hearing an apology in that moment did to me. He says “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have missed it.” Because that’s how it goes right? The onus is always on the queer person, it’s always down to us. I was sure, I was so sure his next line was going to be “why didn’t you tell me”. Then when Simon answers, his response emphasizes the time they spent together when he didn’t know (Four years eating dinner together). Right out of the gate. “How long have you known?” Not, “how long have you been…you know…”, “how long have you known.” This is coming from a character we have seen (unintentionally, but still) commit homophobic microaggressions on screen at least twice now with many more implied, that difference is important. So I’m gonna talk about why this scene is so fucking important to me. I’m gonna go off on this scene for a hot second, because this doesn’t get nearly as much attention as the talk with his mom and honestly this one hit me harder.
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